Leadership Question: An Elephant Is In The Room, What Do You Do?

I have seen several elephants throughout my career, and in this post, I will share a story about one of them. First, let me say I view elephants in the room as a leadership opportunity. For ease of reference, I will give this elephant the name of “Skepty,” which is short for the scenario of when a team may have reason to be skeptical of a leader’s authenticity. Left unaddressed, Skepty can wreak havoc on team dynamics, foster mistrust, and cause team members to lose respect for their leader. These impacts ultimately can lead to broad organizational problems such as lower employee engagement, among other issues.

Skepty can appear in many situations, but a common real-world example is when a team suspects their leader acted disingenuously after becoming aware of critical information. For instance, the leader carried out contrary actions or perhaps even professed to be unaware of the information. Skepty typically arrives following some bad news or when an adverse event has occurred in the organization. A substantial layoff, a significant restructuring, or a loss of a large revenue stream are some examples. Team members may begin to wonder to themselves or discuss in internal circles, “when did the leader know?” Those wondering about this question may also reflect on the boss’s actions in advance of the entire team learning the news.

One of my memorable encounters with Skepty came after my team and I had worked closely for several weeks on a proposal to capture a big win, arguably the most significant opportunity we had ever pursued. Given the nature and size of the opportunity, a win would mean lots of growth for the company, while a miss would result in substantial layoffs. The team was highly optimistic about capturing the win as our pitch was buttoned up nicely. Words alone cannot sufficiently convey the extreme optimism and hope the team had around this opportunity, given that it was coming on the heels of us overcoming some massive challenges.

I use my communication workshops to dive deeper into leadership challenges such as dealing with elephants such as Skepty, so I will spare the details here. In short, I learned the bad news first – we did not win the business. I also had to keep the info confidential for five days, at which time we could inform all stakeholders. You may be thinking, “so what? Leaders need to keep information confidential all the time.” That is true and something I consistently stressed with my leadership team.

The important backstory for Skepty’s appearance in this situation is that a few of my direct reports noticed I was behind closed doors one day when a decision was imminent. One could easily surmise I was on a phone call about the new business. I left my office shortly following the call and happened to pass them in the hallway. I don’t wear a good poker face, so it was somewhat of an awkward moment when we met in passing. (Note: My direct reports later would tell me that they sensed something was wrong when we passed in the hallway).

Fast forward to five days later. All stakeholders were aware of the news, and my team and I were getting together for our first real debrief. The sadness on their faces and the silence in the room were deafening as I kicked off the meeting. As I looked at their faces, I wondered if they were “seeing” Skepty in the room. My sense was the team “saw” Skepty, but I knew no one was going to acknowledge it or be the first to point it out.

So, I started the meeting with these words, “I imagine some of you might be wondering when I learned of the news.” I then shared what I knew and when I knew it openly and honestly, knowing that I was putting myself “out there.” My team, having this information, likely would reflect on my actions over the preceding five days. I didn’t feel like my actions had been contrary or I did anything to mislead the team. Still, in this case, five days was a long time, and no leader is perfect, especially when dealing with challenging issues such as layoffs and other bad news. I had been in numerous 1:1 and group meetings with my team during those five days, and as a servant-leader, my leadership style and communications generally were transparent. In short, I had ample opportunity to do or say something that later could be viewed as contrary or misleading when considered in retrospect. How would my team react, particularly if now having this information caused them to feel I had misled them or was disingenuous during those five days?

My team’s reaction was nothing short of incredible. It was as if somebody had removed a massive weight – we had kicked “Skepty” out of the room! I noticed a dramatic change in my team members’ faces and body language as they responded to my opening comments. We then proceeded to start plotting a course towards a different future. The loss stung, but we started moving forward with a new mission and enhanced level of grit and teamwork. Most significantly, my direct reports later would tell me how greatly they appreciated my honesty, transparency, and humility and that it further magnified the trust in our relationships.

There are all kinds of elephants in the world of business. As leaders, our team members look to see what actions we take when an elephant is in the room. Of course, some elephants need to be handled privately due to the nature of the matter.  However, many elephants, such as Skepty pertain to issues within a leader’s control. Therefore, leaders must take the appropriate public actions when an elephant is in the room. Doing so establishes tone in the organization, builds stronger bonds, increases levels of trust, and ultimately leads to higher employee satisfaction and engagement. Not dealing with these elephants has the opposite effects.